devilseeking

socially acceptable ?

Tue, 22 Jan 2008 09:08:51 GMT

well, april and I plan to call chris one of these days.
he left early today so we didn't get to ask him for his phone number.
we got bored and made up 23 nicknames for him.

michael angelo
the unfortunate snort
puffer fish
asshole jones
colgate
wolfgang
grizzly
tom teal
90210
r2d2
acdc
beefgroin
lambchop
lamb of chop
taste of gay
bullet for my chrisintine
agayu
chris cranker
chris cringle
christmas
napkin
the brave little toaster
bo jangles

bo jangles was my own personal addition
AND I THINK IT'S THE BEST ONE

bo jangles
where the fuck did i get that from?

anyway i amused myself for just about half an hour
by trying to take pictures of myself with trent reznor on the tv in the background
i dont know how to explain it:

i guess i failed that one
all of the pictures are out of focus, like that one.
trent looks so angry.

yesterday i made cupcakes:

arent they cute?

that is all.

d/l

Thu, 17 Jan 2008 03:56:08 GMT

dislikes:

hipsters, people that I don't know that creep my page more then twice a day, uncomfortable underwear, metrosexuality, itunes, audrey kitchen and other skanks/whores/sluts that are famous for no other reason but cock sucking and modeling as if it's work, fashion turbans (in my mind there is no such thing as a fashionable turban), macbooks, monroe piercings, procrastination and how it's my middle name, being in the same room as anyone that is completely wasted, anorexia, mary-kate olsen, valentine's day, homework, scene kids - not just the disgusting, obnoxious fashion but the EXTREMELY annoying attitude that comes with it, how much time I spend on the computer, marijuana elitists, shitty st.albert/edmonton metalcore makes me sick to my stomach, st.albert in general, any 23 year old maggot that has enough nerve to hit on a 15 year old (or less) girl, how I'm everyone's 5-minute-best-friend, school, feet, obesity, stupid repetitive prophecies like how the world is going to end in 2012, children, ac/dc, getting slaughtered on halo 3, jealousy, how I always get pwned by chicks that are better then me, how I'm such a reformed GAWTH, letting people walk all over me, how often I insist on blogging, paper cuts, severe ignorance, hannah montana, chicks these days and their fake hair and fake personalities to match, how i just can't seem to ever keep my room clean, heartburn, anxiety/panic attacks, shaky hands, jerks, smart asses, dumb asses, twats, twits, how there is no such thing as 'sober fun' to most people anymore, slash fanfiction, publicized homosexuality/homo-eroticism, making assumptions, body hair, allergies, dogs, people who can't think for themselves, how I can't help but listen in to other people's conversations, insecurity, my little sister's obnoxious friends, pedophilia, dirty hands, being led on, the dentist, insects that can fly, people who base their lives on drugs and alcohol, that foundation makeup shit and the girls who don't know how to apply it, girls in general, life-controlling religions, old people that still have their license and a car, losing important things, deception, weird nineteen year old indians who message me on nexopia, emo girls who wear hollister/ae, weird college fags who message me on nexopia, boys who lead me on one day then magically have a girlfriend the next, customer service, gross eyebrows, brownies, chocolate, back pains, broken fingernails, how i get sick for weeks to months instead of hours to days, friend's girlfriends, change for the worse, how I have no musical talent what-so-ever, stress stress STRESS, tornadoes, how easily i get attached to people, how clingy i can be, mental deterioration, being ignored or avoided, love songs, love poems, lovers, cute couples and all of that shit, jeffree star, wearing pants, being forgotten, being ditched, being broke, etc.

likes:

long socks, sweden boys and finnish boys, wearing other people's clothes, live music, glasses, blue eyes, axe cologne, stiletto shoes, people with cute/soft voices, documentaries, wolf quest and other equally retarded online games, fish for pets, supporting friends, awkward people, my sick/disgusting/unnecessary sense of humor, edward cullen, meeting new people, photography, tongue piercings, affection, my cats, frozen yogurt popsicles, popsicles in general, getting fed, really nice stray cats, stopping on the sidewalk to pet stranger's cats, really interesting tattoos, really offensive/controversial pictures on the internet, oh god i love the internet, anyone that can pull off a really nice/clean mohawk, really dirty text messages, gaspard uliell, my beautiful canon rebel xti digital slr camera, my beautiful best friend/big sister april marie ball, doing stupid surveys and whatnot, facebook and how stupid it is, hall and oates, blogging, black eye makeup, the tshirt-and-jeans style, gwen stefani everything, preying mantises (mantisi?), kicking mexican ass on halo 3, classical music, taking reeeeally long naps, bruises, laying around on my floor for hours at a time, 2am madness, cute phone conversations, cute friends, taking pictures of my cute friends, britney spears perfume, making jokes at the expense of unfortunate people, zeitgeist, myspace, maynard james keenan, flip hats, eavesdropping, sincerity, writing letters/notes to friends, subway, the acoustic guitar, skipping school to play videogames, wasting other people's time, taking the city bus, buying useless things, internet shopping, gwar, donairs, saying silly a million times a day, cute underwear, hairspray that smells nice, talking about anything/everything, making native jokes at april's expense, making any jokes at april's expense, hair dye, good books, holding hands, making fun of april, sitting on april, jumping on people

love

Thu, 17 Jan 2008 03:54:57 GMT

Love gives you crabs.

get a haircut and get a real job

Thu, 17 Jan 2008 02:25:30 GMT

Okay. I have plans.

I don't like playing this ex-relationship sort of thing, even if it didn't even get to go that far.
I hate that shit. I hate it. I've done it so many times too, and everytime it happens I take a longer time to recover.

I've been hiding in my house as much as I can, I've avoided all phone calls, 90% of my text messages and plenty of offers to go out with friends.
It's stupid. So, so incredibly stupid.

I let it get me so down this time that I had to get a refill on anti-depressants. I mean I'm sure there were other things that begged for that again like some family problems, friend problems and problems in school + the job thing. But still.
So stupid.

I've moped around like the sad sloppy person I am when something brings me way down
I've cried to my friends countless times; I can only imagine how hard they want to kick me for it
I bitch at my mom about it
(and my sister, actually)
I listen to annoying, whiny music
and worst of all I treat myself like absolutely shit.
I've said so many awful things about myself lately that it drives me even CRAZIER.

Well I threw out the pills and shit
I cleaned my ENTIRE room
I've screamed and cried and told myself what an unbelievably crappy person I am
I've talked to strangers about it
friends
whatever
I'm done.
DONE!!!

So now I'm going to fix my hair
get a manicure or something equally gay
and buy a new pair of shoes

Those are my plans.

I was going through Gala's website because .... well, I don't know why. Her purple hair attracted me.
But anyway she offered a bunch of relationship tips and I felt like a complete moron for being like "wow, I've done the complete opposite of all of this stuff!"
and so it was like
BAM , realization

:/

Anyway I think I'm going to start by taking myself to a movie and doing other lame shit like that.

and I uh....... I think I better by those.
(I'm such a sad, reformed gothfag)
GAWFFAG
ahhaha
seriously.

... seriously.

i mean, uh, what?

hahahahaha
i'm so fkivhbjkdlfgkjn
i mean i am so cute
fghfvfhbd

Okay so I know I've said sorry so many fucking times that it has stopped making any sense, even to me,
but I want to say it again one more time.
To everyone. You, you, you, all of you and ME.
I'm sorry I've been a stupid dramatic bitch over the situation but I think I've finally pulled the big axe out of my back.
So I'm doneskis.

Yes? Yes.
that's it.
I'm going cold turkey, I'm not going to talk about the situation at all from now on.

If something happens, it happens. I'll like
slit my wrists in private this time hahahha I don't know
fnbbfjkgbf!

all we need is just a little patience

Mon, 14 Jan 2008 00:55:25 GMT

Lately I've been too scatterbrained to do much of anything thought-provoking. My actions are rash and without reason.
I'll detail that idea in a bit.

But first I'd like to mention that I don't like how I get sick of my school friends really easily. I mean there's three people I'm thinking of that I don't think I could ever get tired of... but that's because I consider them my real friends, not just school friends, even if I only really see them at school. I am so sick of you and your judgmental, outspoken self. I can be outspoken and obnoxious, too, but I don't think you even have a filter between your brain and your mouth that sifts out the necessary and the unnecessary. I know I don't have enough balls to say any of this to your face, or to you at all, but I want you to know that I'm trying to cut you out of my life. When you start to complain to me, or my friends about it, I will say one last goodbye to you.

I don't remember what brought that on in my mind. As in, what gave me the idea to write about it.
Oh wait. nevermind.
Nevermind.
ahhaha.
/scatterbrain

I lat updated on the 8th.

On the 9th I went to the doctor after school because my mom thinks I'm depress-o again.
But after that I went to Katie's house to hang out with her and Kristen. We modded pictures on nexopia, went to nitzas to eat and I took 400-and-something pictures. I don't really feel like posting them but I'll get around to it eventually. I always update my little myspace folder of my favorite pictures that I've taken. Har har.

On the 10th I'm pretty sure I just laid around. I found out that Gigantour *is* coming here! I also talked to April on the phone for hours and hours. We talked about everything as usual, and also made my resume. I'm going to print it out and give it to Chapters and some other random places that I can find.

Friday the 11th I went to Chelsea's house after napping until 4:30. We played guitar hero and I managed a 44% for Through the Fire and the Flames on expert, which was weird for me because usually I do 5x worse then I normally do infront of other people. We watched some TV and I took pictures of her cat.
Then we got a ride into Morinville, to the youth thing. I don't remember what it was called. I agreed to go because I wanted to hang out with Chelsea... and I wanted to give Gabe his sweater back. I don't know how to describe how violent the twists in my stomach were when we pulled up. I had a miniature panic attack in my head and couldn't breathe for a second but I didn't say anything.
Zach gave me a hug. He got taller.
The service was the most awkward thing I've ever had to endure. Ever. I was shaking like a leaf the entire time, but I roughed it out because I was looking forward to hanging around with Chelsea afterwards. I had a panic attack 2/3s of the way through because the pastor said something like "stand up if you love god, and give yourself to god."
I don't know if it's immature of me that I didn't want to stand up... but honestly.. the preachings before that were enough to make me cry when I think about it now... so the mindset I was in by that point in the service just wasn't right.
Anyway I stopped breathing for a second and my eyes swelled up with tears! I was so freaked out. I said something like "CHELSEAWHATDOIDO?" and she told me to just stand up. So I did. I don't know. It was just a strange experience.
After the service when everyone was up and spread out around the place, Chelsea kept telling me to give Gabe his sweater back. I must have chickened out about 5 times before I actually did. And when I did I said it too quietly and had to repeat myself. The weirdest part was that I could only make like, a split second worth of eye contact. I always try to make eye contact with people when I talk to them. I guess I was so ashamed of myself that I couldn't........... ha ..ha.
I don't know. I did my best to stay collected but my neck was sore by the end of the night from hanging my head so much.
Chelsea and Zach had a fight because Zach is an ignorant fuckhead. I was so ready to slap him upside the head. He could treat me like that, but not Chelsea.
UGH!
After everything when I went home, he even had the nerve to message me on nexopia and sob to me about what a dick he "finally realized" he is. As if I hadn't tried to tell him that a million fucking times before, and as if he hadn't "realized" it before.
Holy fuck. Some people.
He went on by rudely telling Chelsea there was no god and blah blah blah. He tried to get me involved, it seemed, when he asked me my opinions on it. I didn't want to say anything because I happen to know that he has a really impressionable mind. I don't know how he did it but I ended up writing out a thoughtful explanation of my opinions and he pretty much agreed with me ):
Whatever. SOME PEOPLE.
I talked to Gabe on msn until 5am after that..

Umm I woke up early on the 12th and decided I had to go to whyte ave to get a sweater and to get my nose pierced. My mom took me but she didn't want to go to strange city because she was so overwhelmed by the parking situation on whyte :/ Waste of time.
I got her to drop me off at a bus stop and I went to west ed to get toner and a belt. I'm planning on going blond. I don't know when I'll get around to it. I said I'd do it today but I haven't felt motivated enough to get up.

Kristen came over when I got home. We were being really really silly.
we:

made food from a bag
watched rich bride poor bride. some dumb bitch said "we have butt heads" and kristen and I lol'd at her expense for a few hours.
went to macks and bought a ridiculous amount of sugar/caffeine
drew pictures for people on msn for like...3 hours.
took silly pictures
did somersaults
kristen whipped off her pants
we left my house at 12:30 at night to meet tony at macks
tony bought a box of cookies for himself, a bottle of water for me and flavored water for kristen
we went to tony's house and stayed there until 3am

at tony's house, we

explored his room
looked through his sex box, which contains an assortment of condoms and vibrating cock rings.
drew on tony. in permanent marker. he has two sleeves of drawings on his arms, stuff all over his chest, stomach and hips AND his whole back.
called random people and left messages on their phones
laid around

I apparently also took off my pants and put on a pair of Tony's boxers.

We went downstairs after a while, where Kristen discovered a giant panda and I discovered Tony's camera. From there on we took silly pictures then ended up getting kicked out by Tony's little sister. So he walked us to my street and we said goodbye!
After that I'm pretty sure Kristen and I just watched boy meets world and fell asleep.
In the morning, kristen woke me up by putting the cat on me at like 10:30. she went home at about 11 and i laid down to nap at 11.
I got up at 4 and here I am.

kgjnhgjkdoflknmdlf

Sun, 13 Jan 2008 23:43:06 GMT

Its no problem, I'll just keep quiet if its easier for you

stitches

Wed, 09 Jan 2008 07:28:21 GMT

I slept maybe an hour last night. I laid around for a countless amount of time before that just laying on my floor again. i don't know, i guess i feel ... more organized on the floor, if that makes any sense.
i poured out my entire heart into a fricken nexopia message at 4:00am when i realized that it was the reason i couldn't sleep, and the reason that i was sore all over and i slept fine after that, on my bed and everything.
i didn't really get the reply/reaction i wanted, but atleast a few things are .. cleared up now, i guess.
my hands have been freezing cold all day long
i feel clammy, hazy, sometimes dizzy and I doze in and out of reality frequently.

anyway i talked to coral today. she gave me a nice hug and tried to make me feel better. i don't remember what i told her but i think i might regret whatever i said. i guess i'll find out tomorrow or something. i remember her clearly saying that she wanted to help me find a non-church goer and that didn't upset me until a few hours after. that's not the way i want it to be at all.

i really want to get away from the subject though, as in my whole religion thing. i had a good talk to april about it tonight which lasted a few hours, actually. if there's anyone i'm going to listen to about it, it's april. she means the entire world to me, you know.
i guess i'm just kind of empty/lonely without her here.

i had a long nap again today. i really need a job because i'm getting tired of sleeping my life away. i'm lapsing in to a really shitty life schedule again. with exams coming up and all, i'm a little bit worried that i'm going to get my ass kicked even harder. my math exam is on friday i'm pretty sure, and even though it's prep, i'm so worried.
at the same time, though, i'm not worried at all. i'm somewhere in between caring if i get a bad mark, and not giving a second thought to it.

my torrent for the broken movie finished by the time i got home from school, so i watched it before i napped.

i have to say, as grotesque and awful as it is (props to the director for managing to pull of something that seemed so realistic without actually torchuring/slaughtering/murdering a person) that it was probably one of the most intriguing things i've ever seen. just the way the entire movie went together cohesively and still made sense, as well as the way it went along with the music itself.
"I've never been a fan of watching videos or movies or anything like that in favor of understanding a song through someone else's point of view
but I think the fact that Trent will only do what he wants, no a director or someone who has no relation, really helps the fact that the visuals he releases with his music are suitable and clearly depict the ideas they are formed from."
-me.

i have an in class essay to write tomorrow. about romeo and juliet. it's midnight and i'm far too tired to start anything now. i was going to write a couple paragraphs for it, and just slip it from my notebook when the teacher wasn't looking or something like that.

today was a good day for loud music. i think that was the only thing that kept me focussed in school, else i would have went into another dimension of some sort.

i talked to brandy about some of my insecurities today. i do value her opinions and her suggestions, so it was good for me to talk to her. (:

holy shit i even talked to my mom today
i was getting sick of her following me around, asking what my issue was, so i finally told her.
naturally she didn't really have anything worth hearing to say.
but i convinced her to take me to get my piercings. that's always good. i could use something right about now to make me feel better, and i've been wanting to get these piercings for years now, so it'll be good.

i'm ordering some clothes off of the internet this week too
april's helping me with a resume
i convinced a stranger to buy me a BME subscription (really really stoked about that) unless he doesn't follow through.
going with chelsea to youth on friday........ i'll be fine.
i love jack johnson thanks to kristen, who i also love very much
i love katie

i fought with a door today. i was all flustered after some guy pushed it open effortlessly. fuck i hate big doors.
and katie told me that my mom is a milf.

bleh.

funny

Tue, 08 Jan 2008 08:43:50 GMT

It is funny how fast things can change for me. It's like one day I own the nicest boat on the lake, it's a beautiful day, the skies are blue and I feel completely content. But the next day, the boat is sinking, the water is swallowing me whole and a tornado rips through wherever my home resides and destroys everything I once knew.
Good one.
I don't know. I'm really loopy right now. At 9pm I swallowed 7 advils, because I was convinced it would make my stomach stop hurting.

Anyway this morning I woke up a happy person even though I slept less then an hour total. I wasn't late for school for once in my life and I had a good conversation with my math teacher. I was singing Suicidal Tendencies to him (:
Foods class was silly as usual, Tony is one of my favorite new friends without a doubt. He carried me around at break for a while, too.
Basically it was just like a normal day. I wasn't too phased even though it was monday, first day back from break. I guess that's good.
I lost a lot of my patience during English, though, just because I don't like that class, and because I have a lot of stupid, shitty, Romeo and Juliet related homework to do over the next few days.

I got home and decided to nap to try and regain a few more hours of sleep. It was a good sleep, I listened to Jack Johnson the whole time and woke up happy, which is a rarity for me. Usually when I wake up from a nap I feel disorientated and sore.

I don't really feel like detailing what happened when I got on to the computer
but uh I will say that everything I said in my last entry was taken back by the deliverer.
I'm not good enough, that's why.

According to Matt, it's because I'm not Christian.
I hadn't thought of that,
and it doesn't make any sense to me what so ever,
but I guess I'm sorry for the fact that I'm not that either.

In fact, I should just write a massive list of things I'm sorry for, and express mail them to jesus.
Here's a start:

I'm sorry I'm a bad person.
I am sorry I do bad things.
I am sorry that I don't want a god figure in my life.
I am sorry I do not have faith.
I am sorry that I don't believe in things I can't see.
I'm sorry I don't believe in Santa Clause, or the Tooth Fairy. They must be real, too.
I'm sorry that the last however many things I said were kind of awful.
I'm sorry for being obnoxious.
I'm sorry for being outspoken.
I'm sorry I don't plan to change my mind.

and a million more.

I really don't know how to explain my religiousless self. It makes me feel guilty, for reasons that I don't understand.
I'm not ignorant.
I'm not, I'm not, I'm not.
I gave it a try. I thought it out.
It just doesn't click in my head, at all.
Like trigonometry.

Another thing I don't understand is why some people can't respect my beliefs.
I respect yours, no doubt. I wouldn't say anything offensive about Religion who took it seriously, let alone say anything awful outside of my own home.
I respect you.
Can't you respect me?
April is religious,
and I know that she'll love me forever no matter what,
and the same courtesy is extended from me to her.
I don't get it.

I kind of feel like the world is against me on this one, actually.
But no matter how much I try, I just cannot seeing 'god' as being a priority in my life. I have a good head on my shoulders, a decent work ethic for someone my age, my own morals and all that jazz. I don't see why I need someone else to make my decisions for me, if that makes any sense.
Maybe I'm not seeing the point.

Fuck, I don't know!
I'll just settle for the idea that I'm not good enough.
I am an unfortunate human being.
Boo hoo.
I'll continue to date boys that don't respect me for any reason, fuck yeah!

Mon, 07 Jan 2008 01:08:37 GMT

I forgot to finish my last entry. I was going to Friday night but then my world did a 180. I don't know what to write without sounding like a creeper! I am completely thrilled/overjoyed and pleased with the way things are now looking up for me now, surprisingly.
Maybe I'll make a friends only entry after this so friends can read and I can keep.

In continuation of my other blog....

December 27
I lied about playing Halo 3 until 6 am!! I actually talked to my friend Raymundo-Cornellius on the phone until 5. We were both scared and paranoid of our basements, so we spent most of the time exchanging creepy stories, or talking about music to make us feel better. I'd just like to mention that I lub lub lub this kid, and I wish he would make time for me even in his busy schedule of getting in trouble - school - girlfriend - friends. For some reason I feel like I could tell him anything. That's really comforting to me.

December 28
I went to Tristan's house on this day for a sleepover. I don't think I got very many interesting pictures, but I still love her. We got really silly after like 2am with all of the giggling, grand theft auto-ing and whatnot. She told me a lot about her life, and I hope everyone knows that I LOVE it when people talk about their life for hours upon hours, mostly because I don't really like talking about mine like that. I don't know if you know, but Tristan and I are like opposite people when we compare what we do day-to-day, but for some reason, I don't think we'll ever stop being friends. I absolutely love her, she's one of my favorite girls in St.Albert.
April called me while I was at Tristan's to tell me about a bunch of myspace drama. EVERYTHING FUCKING HAPPENS WHEN I'M NOT HOME! Honestly, I rarely leave my house, but when I do everyone just dies.
Hhahah.
But yeah. I love Tristan. We didn't get to bed until like, 6am, and we didn't wake up until 3.
picture: tristan

December 29
I got home from Tristan's place at 4:30 or something like that. I'm pretty sure I fell asleep on my bed and didn't wake up for a few hours. Due to lack of blog entries on nexopia, I'm guessing I was probably playing xBox or something, instead of internetting.

December 30
Didn't do much all day long, but I DID go to Kristen's work party that night. It was cute, we had a big meal and played Cranium afterwards. The people she works with are really sweet and funny, so it was a good time. I got so many really good pictures, but to be completely honest with you, I'm too lazy tor resize anymore. Maybe I'll just put links to the ones I have on my myspace or something haha. I ended up sleeping at Kristen's house. I love her. I thought I knew this guy from her work on nexopia, so I had to check to see if it was him, but luckily it wasn't. But anyway we pretty much laid in her bed and talked for hours and hours. Kristen was saying SILLY so many times, because she was so sleepy. It was cute, but it really rubbed off on me because over the past few days I've said it millions of times. But anyway we listened to her sleepy happy music all night, and slept the wrong way on her bed. But my favorite part was that we bonded (:
pictures: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10

December 31
I was supposed to go to the fireworks with Kristen, Katie, Leanne and Sorchy but I don't know what happened hahah. I just kind of ended up hanging out with Chelsea!!! I really adore her, she's so cute and funny and her mom is like, in love with me. (:
But anyway, I hung out at her house a bit, then we went to the fireworks, where I took a bunch of shitty pictures of them
and afterwards walked to 7-11 to get coffee and whatnot. I saw Lauren and Lauren Krause and Amanda, and apparently Lauren K moved to Texas!! How come no one tells me these things?!?!?
Whne we got home, I took a bunch of really cute/funny pictures of Chelsea. She decided to dress up really scene and be silly. I adore her hahaha.
But yes, I shall link some pictures that I uploaded to my myspace folder, because she is so cute, and the pictures are worth seeing. Good portraits, yay!!
I got home from her house at 11 and spent the rest of 2007 on the computer/talking on the phone with April. I'm pretty sure I missed the countdown or whatever, because I mass messaged everyone on my friendslist at exactly midnight wishing a happy new year hahahaha.
pictures: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22

January 1
I honestly did absolutely nothing worth mentioning, What a sad, sad way to start the New Year.

January 2
I met Ray, some guy I'd been talking to on nexopia for a few days, at west ed at around 2. It was kind of awkward, just because I felt inclined to talk and talk and talk, which probably made me seem like an idiot. We decided to see the movie I AM LEGEND but we had 30 minutes to kill before the movie started, so we went and sat in the arcade part of the movie...area in west ed. He's a nice kid, but we don't really have anything in common whatsoever hahaha.
Ummmmmmmmm then I guess we went into the theater and watched the previews, WHICH FEATURED ONE OF THE POUGHKEEPSIE TAPES THAT SCARED THE LIVING SNOT OUT OF ME.
The movie was pretty good, but after he had to kill Sam, I felt like throwing up. It got to the point where I did actually have to throw up, sooooo I went to the bathroom and did so. Yummy. I must really be a really appealing date, yes?
But yeahhhhhhhhhhh that movie was.... frustrating. I don't know if I'd recommend it. Will Smith is pretty silly.
After that we walked around for a while, waiting for my bus to come. Apparently I looked at the wrong schedule and missed my bus? But I met up with Courtney and Jen so I had company to wait with me while I waited for my momma to come pick me up.
I love Courtney and Jen.
We went to the pet store to look at the animals, particularly the kitties. So cute.

After that I went to Leanne's house to meet up with her, Sorchy and Katie for a sleepover. Kristen didn't get there until 9 so we went to macs to killllll tiiiime. Sorchy and I bought eggnog, oreos and some strawberry cheesecake thing HHAHAHAH.
We got back and Kristen arrived, so we watched a mooovie. I forget what it was called... but it had Ben Stiller in it, and he married this girl who turned out to be a crazy bitch or something. Hahhaha.
Katie left after the movie, and we all went downstairs.
Sorchy and Leanne went to bed pretty early, so Kristen and I stayed up watching silly things on TV like PRANK PATROL!
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30

January 3
We got up pretty early and decided to go to subway after eating cereal.
Leanne and Sorchy left, so Kristen and I went back to my house. She wanted to go to Sally's or Whyte Ave, so we planned to do so. Unfortunately it was like 4 when we did so, so we didn't end up going. We were all ready to go but then it popped in my head that we would not have time to go to Sally's, or whyte ave, and make it back to West Ed to catch the last bus home. So my mom and I just dropped Kristen off at home.
I don't think I did anything else interesting hahaha.
I chilled on the internets for a while, but then decided to take a little nap while waiting for my music to download at 8. Unfortunately, I didn't get up until 1. Hhahaha.

January 4
I went shoppin with my mam and my sister. I bought 2 pairs of pants, the arch enemy dvd, the amon amarth dvd, red dragon by thomas harris, twilight by stephenie meyer and cell by steven king, as well as my shampoo from chatters.
Josh turned 18 on this day (:

Aaaaaaand I basically did nothing, until I got a call at 10 last night from Matt.
So I've been talking to gabe on nex for a long time
just, randomly I guess
and his friend matt started talking to me the other night and he was all "OH YOU SHOULD COME HANG OUT" but i didn't feel like going to the youth thing
but afterwards, gabe, justin, coral, matt and gabe's older brother called me and asked me where i lived
but they couldnt find my house so i met them like
on the street hahhaha and basically just jumped in their car
and we went to coral's house
so there was like 6 of us just hanging out until like 1
then justin was like "I HAVE TO GO HOOOME" and whatnot because his mom told him to be home by one, and matt and/or gabe's brother aaron was/were supposed to drive him home
but then they decided to walk all the way to morinville
for no reason
except to get matt's car, even though aaron's was there hahahhaa
so justin got stuck hanging out with us until his brother could pick him up yadda yadda
so from like 1:30am - 6am it was just me gabe and coral
we watched the simpsons movie hahah and i was all like, cuddling gabe i guess, because i tend to do that
coral fell asleep but she was worried about aaron and matt so she called them every 20 minutes

and i dont know haha the three of us were just kind of napping on coral's bed, but she kicked me and gabe out so we brought a mattress from i don't remember where and slept on her floor hahahah
i ended up cuddling with him until matt and aaron got back which was like 6:30am
then i dont remember what happened but i ended up on the bed with coral and gabe again
but then coral decided to sleep on the mattress we brought in
so gabe and i just slept in corals bed for like 3 hours haha

January 5
i woke up at 11 but he was still sleeping so i chilled with coral and her dad and watched so you think you can dance
thennnn coral decided to wake matt up because he fell asleep infront of the computer or something hahahah
aaronhad left to take the car back
and i dont know i went and laid down with gabe again
and we ended up talking/cuddling for another 2-3 hours
until I decided to go home.

(:
That's all I have to say.
(: (: (: (: (: (:
Hence why everything is looking up for me.

....
Yeah!

Soo I went home and laid around remeniscing to myself about the whole night/day. April called and I talked to her a bit. I told Chelsea what went on.
blahblah.
My parents invited their friends over, and they expected me to be excited to see their baby again, when really I just wanted to throw up.
So I went downstairs and played antisocial for 4 hours and watched myyyyyy precious music dvds (: arch enemy, amon amarth, children of bodom then nine inch nails.
lub lub.

THAT IS ALL!

upkeep

Fri, 04 Jan 2008 11:27:35 GMT

I really wish I could stick to LJ for a long period of time. I enjoy looking back on my days, remembering how I felt and whatnot. I'm kind of a miserable person, I have noticed. Not just now, or a while ago, but most of the time. I have violent thoughts/ideas and I speak with extreme pessimism.

Anywho, I think the most exciting thing I have to share is the pictures I've taken over the last few days. I last replied on the 26th of december, and that was a week ago. I have gotten some impressive pictures, I'd like to think.
I'll just show you in chronological order, because thats how my picture folder is arranged.

December 27
I went to West Edmonton mall on this day to meet up with Jen and Courtney, my two cute mall rat friends. First day out with my camera. I am so impressed with myself as far as pictures went: this camera takes absolutely beautiful pictures with a simple setting change, and point-and-shoot sort of idea.
Anyway, Courtney and Jen and I went to the Sea Caverns

jen taking a picture of the fishies

anemones

jen touching the anemones

penguins

they were so playful

oily

playful haha

:)

weird fish

sea turtle

courtney really liked them!

baby stingrays!

you're allowed to play with them!!

(insert steve irwin joke here)

fatty

they had a finding nemo tank set up, it had a couple of the fishies from the movie
i didn't really get a good picture of them

they distracted us for a long time hahha

fishy fishy!! this is my favorite picture that i have taken so far.

flamingoooo

then we

chicken caesar crepe

I like being with them: Jen and Courtney are good friends to me. They don't judge me, like the people I'm used to, they simply accept me for who I am.

I had to get on my bus after that, but

just because.

:)

us!! i look really silly.

hahaha jenny looks posessed <3

It was a good time. After that, I got my mom to drive me to Graham's house. We played Guitar hero, I played with his cat Snicklefritz and we watched Freddy Got Fingered. I'm pretty sure that movie scarred me.

he schooled me.

this is graham.

snickleFATs

butthead

2 guitars!

catface

"the hair"

that's graham.... in my jacket ):

I have a nice profile of cat pictures hahahaha

I have Graham's sweater (:

But yeah.. it was alright. I cuddled Graham but he didn't really cuddle me back.
I'm kind of used to it.

....

Anyway, I didn't get home until midnight. I probably spent the night playing HALO 3 until 6am or something like that. That is usually how it goes.

It's 4:30 am. I have to get up at 11:30 to go jean shopping with my mam. So I guess I should go to bed now before I drop dead.

TO BE CONTINUED.

seasons greetings

Thu, 27 Dec 2007 05:43:32 GMT

Xmas was good; Santa was good to me.
I don't feel like detailing the last little while, because nothing has been very interesting. I quit my job. Blah blah.
I got

canon rebel xti digital slr camera
& a weird zoom lens for it
nine inch nails dvd
socks, underwear, slippers, pj pants
ipod nano or whatever
terror cds, xbishopx cd
200 bucks
40 buck to chapters
50 bucks to hmv
35 bucks to chatters, the beauty supplier place

and some other stuff I can't remember.
Pretty fuckin' awesome, if you ask me.

OH
my mom got me a Van Halen shirt. It was cute though, because I unwrapped it and she started to cry, and said "you used to have a really similar shirt when you were a baby, and you wore it all of the time. I want you to know that you're still my baby."
Like I said, cute. I love my mom.

The camera is nothing but unbelievable. Holding it in my hands is like ... holding a dream hahah. It's awesome.
The family received an xbox 360, which is currently in my room, playing my Nine Inch Nails DVD for me. I have really bad hiccups, and heart burn right now. Really sucks.

But yeah, I've taken hundreds of pictures so far. Most of them were pointless until i started taking pictures of myself, which, by the way, are flawless.

I took some cute pictures of my cats, and some of the TV while I was watching the first bit of the NIN DVD. They're pretty awesome... I can't imagine what it'd be like to go to a concert with this puppy. I think I'll start trying to get like... those passes, that'll get be between the barricade and the stage so I can take some awesome shit n_n. Maybe I'll have to re-light my relationship with Dixon, because I'm sure that's what he gets at concerts. *want*

sophie enjoyed playing in the wrapping : )

mangoo

she has boogers in her eyes that i forgot to pick out

a rare jellyfish enjoyed itself

a brightly colored jellyfish

a fierce jellyfish

oh yeah, i forgot to mention that i reconfigured my computer.

booties hahahha

enjoying her new bed

cozy

mid action shot: emerging

he kind of looks like the penguin

HAHAHAHHH
LOOK AT MI MUSKLES!11

rape

it took a while for me to realize that this wasn't jimmy hahahaha

gleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

scary baby 0:

:b

facts I have discovered about the NIN DVD (And All That Could Have Been)

trent seems to like bashing his head with the microphone
the great below is the most emotional live performance i've ever seen. it makes me cry.
trent screams like a girl during wish.
trent falls on his ass, and stumbles around a lot. drugs? alcohol?
everyone on stage looks like they rolled in black dirt (also known as soot) before the show hahah
i'm jesus FUCK on ecstasy~~~~~~

That's about all for now : ) I'll post picture blogs like these all the time from now on.

If you're a noob to LJ, just click the link sentence that is in brackets.

shitty bitch

Wed, 19 Dec 2007 04:39:45 GMT

I sincerely apologize in advance for the fact that I’m a shitty person, that I lack obvious human qualities, and that I change my mind as often as the direction of the wind.

pigeon

Mon, 17 Dec 2007 07:35:10 GMT

I’ve already gotten back in to the swing of posting 6 or 7 nexopia blog entries a day. I started up this livejournal to prevent that from happening but I guess it does me no good.

Anyway, I thought I’d give myself a little reminder of what has happened since I last posted. Lets see, last time I posted was December 13^th. It’s now the 17^th but only because it’s midnight, so three days agoooo was … Thursday? Yes. Thursday.

Okay, so on Thursday I didn’t really do much but school – and internets as usual. I figured out how to use bots and shit to vote for gay7x on Fuse, which, by the way, I gave up on doing because everyone’s just eating their own shit over getting a signed poster from Sevenfoldism now hahah. Gay. But ummm that’s about it. I didn’t get to bed until really late that night because I was too busy freaking out over Charles Manson, and talking to Justin through blogs.

Friday at school Sorchae had upright sex with me in the hallway, according to my nexopia blog. What else is new? My dad bought a new TV that day also, which, by the way, is the largest television I’ve ever seen in my entire life, and everytime I walk by it I just want to throw up because the picture is so clean… it’s weird and stuff. The TV was soooooo expensive, so now I don’t feel bad about not getting my dad an xmas gift because he spent 90% of our leftover equity money on it. I worked that night and it was just… meh, work. I got my paycheck.

Saturday I decided to go shopping at West Ed by myself. My momskis dropped me off and I bought April an xmas gift, another thing for my mom, and a purse for myself. I think the only reason I went to West Ed was because I’m a fucking idiot and was expecting to see someone… haha, yeah right. There was like 60,000,000 people everywhere. I got frustrated pretty easily. But, I managed to spend my entire paycheck on three things haha. Oh well, it was a shitty 160 dollar paycheck anyways. Uhhh I bussed it home – and by the way, I love taking the bus. I just do. And then my mom picked me up at village with my sister and her mormon friend in the back of the truck and she took me to get a donair. Fuck yes. Then I worked, and, surprisingly, I had the best night of work ever.

It was a super super busy night so Christina and I were just fuckin’ drowning in dishes all night. At about 8:30, Raf called for EVERYONE to “sit the fuck down for a few minutes”. Everyone comes in to the kitchen during those times hahah so it was just us employees, aka out of family servicers. Everyone started commenting on how shitty Christina and I have it and we all just got into a huge conversation about how much it sucks. Rob got all concerned when I mentioned that I wasn’t being paid right, and started writing down my hours so HE could keep count hahah. I actually adore him.

He and Joey started making these jokes about this pasta we serve, it’s called pennay. I don’t know if I spelt that right, but anyway, pennay is what Italian’s call it, so it’s what we call it in English, but in Spanish, pennay is penis. So everytime a waitress would order pennay, Rob or Joey would make a FILTHY joke and no one else would get it.

Anyway, so it was a good night. Now that my coworkers support me leaving, because they all just feel bad that I’m getting fucked over just because Rocco is cheap, I can quit with confidence. My mom helped me write a formal/official letter of consent as well. It’s pretty bitchy but gets the point across that I don’t like to be pushed around. Ha. I’m going to apply with my resume at Chatters, the new beauty supplier, even though I’m ugly and crusty, and Chapters of course. I’ve wanted a job at Chapters since the idea of getting a job came to my head. If not, I’ll go work at superstore or something gay like that with Christina. I adore her, she’s the kind of person that will do ANYTHING just to get the job done. She has an unbreakable work ethic. It’s good. I want to be like that when I grow up ;’D

Today I did nothing, really. My sister and her mormon friend – OH SHIT BY THE WAY MY MOM MADE THE BEST JOKE EVER. So we were sitting upstairs and I was complaining about how dumb it is to be mormon, and my mom looked at me weird and was like (with a serious face) “you mean moron?” HAHAHAHAH I fell off my chair and rolled around on the ground for a while – woke me up at 9:30am with their screaming, but I just kind of ignored it and laid in bed for three hours and daydreamed about what I wish my life was like. It was pretty chill. I got up and did nothing for a while at like noon but then laid down again at 3 and slept until 7:30. Now I’m just overtired, so sleep is far from my mind. A while ago I was rocking out to Nine Inch Nails so bad. I started writing this really screwed up story but I deleted it because I get depressed after big trippin’ sessions like that.

I hate it when I get really really lonely. Because then I develop this self-hate bullshit, then I just rag on everyone and make them go away. NGIJSBFKDNBFL.

Kjhfklbgldf

That is all. I have school tomorrow, and Wednesday and Thursday. That is all.

I decided that I’m not going on Tuesday. I don’t want to risk being involved in a school massacre. Hahahah

Here are some things I have to invest in:

Melissa Cross' Zen Of Screaming DVD
Arch Enemy's APOCALYPSE LIVE DVD
Nine Inch Nails' And All That Could Have Been Live DVD
Terror Longsleeve Shirt
CARRY ON shirt
xBISHOPx longsleeve
xBISHOPx hoodie
these cute shoeboots (i'm obsessed with footwear lately, if you couldn't tell)

stay fresh

Thu, 13 Dec 2007 08:14:59 GMT

Okay, hi. I was doing something on the great internets but then I forgot what and decided to come here. Yay livejournal. I guess the only thing I really have to say is that I finally got around to

xmas shopping
fixing my hair

and um, that's about it.
12ish days until xmas. I'm pretty stoked. At the same time, not really, because I'm behind on getting my gifts to people. KFJSHFSJFK.

I have a to-do list:

Quit my job
Get caught up in school
Find a new way to make money, aka get a new job
the number 4 is stupid
stop dying my hair
buy new earphones
get ahold of the xbishopx cd, suicide party.
fix my damn phone, or stomp it into little pieces and buy a new one!!

I think that's all for now. I got my L.A.M.B. boots this weekend, I'm pretty stoked about that. I just don't like all of the compliments... like.... Okay, that sounds just stupid and sfkjasfhasklfnbgj but .... yeah. I just don't like it. People stare at my feet when I walk around, or make this stupid weird face like I just had a baby or something.

I haven't had much time to do the things I like to do lately....
I don't even understand what I just said,
BUT,
I haven't roleplayed in a while. Or played WoW, or sat down to thoroughly enjoy a few hours of neopets.
It's kind of weird how my time is just flying out the window like no one's business. Where has this week gone?
Shit, where did November go?

I want to stretch my ears.
To a 6g.

Uh,
I guess that's all.

bye black, bye.

ps - it was zacky ved's birthday on the 11th. throw stuff at him next time you see him, he's now a pedophile to children 9 years and younger.
Bye. C:

Mon, 10 Dec 2007 08:32:47 GMT

So when I go to write a Subject line for my journal entries, some of the funniest things come up from past whatever internet doings. I’ll be alternating between some of the best ones for the next little while, so I guess I'm just pre-warning anyone that the subject lines probably won't have any relevance with.. well, anything.

I haven’t done much lately, I have to say for about the trillionth mofuckin’ time. I think the last time I wrote an entry was on Thursday. It’s Sunday now, but, eh, nothing much has changed.

I went to school Friday, surprise surprise. Got a bunch of work shit dumped on me, which, by the way, I haven’t bothered doing any of. I think I have two tests tomorrow but I don’t really care anymore. I think that’s all that really happened on Friday, aside from the fact that I worked.

I also worked Saturday, so naturally, I did nothing all day long until I had to go in. I really don’t even want to talk about it, even now, but I’ll just say that I gave in my two weeks notice. Fuck. Dat. Shit.

That’s cool though, I figure I’ll get a job at Chapters, or something equally awesome. Atleast I wont have to BUST my ass for a shitty wage. I’d rather stand around in a book store and make 8 bucks an hour then die in a gross environment getting dirty and smelling gross, greasy Italian food for 8 bucks an hour. Oh … also, on Saturday, my mom woke me up at 10am freaking out. My l.a.m.b. boots arrived. They’re pretty sweet, but I have a feelin that I’ll be the only person to actually like them ahahah.

Today I spent most of my day improving my writing skills with roleplaying, fuck yeah. My parents went to Van Halen, leaving me alone in the house. I would have had a crazy party if I:

had friends
had a reason to party
cared

Ooooh I'm so rebellious against teenage ways.

Anyway, it's 1:30 and I don't plan on going to be for another long while. I'm too busy watching episodes of Mission Hill on youtube.

asgadsg

Fri, 07 Dec 2007 06:42:19 GMT

I don’t feel like writing much, because I am so behind on my art project that I just want to die. Hahha. Needless to say, Piggy D looks like a horse.

Anyway, today:

Did nothing. Avoided work, aka called in sick.
Called in sick for school.
Slept
Talked to Gabeskis
uhhh thats about it.

I fail at life.

:3

by the way

Thu, 06 Dec 2007 03:09:13 GMT

you gayyyyyyyy

Thu, 06 Dec 2007 03:02:34 GMT

I took today off from school again. And by that I mean no one woke me up, so I guess I had the day off. I got up at 1:30 or something like that and I’ve pretty much been on the computer since. My mom got me a donair for dinner tonight, but I only really ate half of it before throwing up most of it 10 minutes later. Fuck yeah, wasting a damn good donair ): I hate throwing up by the way, it’s one of the worst feelings in the world. My throat feels kind of gross and my stomach is empty. Gay.

I treated my hair again today, after not washing it for 5 days, lols. It’s nice and feathery soft. I think I’ll be ready to bleach it this weekend. If anyone recalls, I posted multiple times that I’m taking a weekend to hibernate and do my hair without anyone to see until I am finished. On Friday, I’ll start with the first bleaching process, then do it again on Saturday if necessary and do the brown color I’m going for. I think I’m going to do the two-toned thing again, though, because I like my hair like that. Instead of having brown and ugly blond, though, I think I might do brown and light pink. Who knows. I’ll probably change my mind within the next hour. I wish April was here to help me dye my hairsssssss ):

Other then that, my mind hasn’t been doing too much thinking. Well, okay, that’s a lie. But I mean, there isn’t anything else important to really ponder. Xmas is coming, that’s more or less exciting, I work and I go to school which is apart of my usual monotonous schedule. I haven’t tried something new in months, I haven’t met anyone worth my time in months and I basically do the same things every single day. I’m bored with my school friends – I either feel like they don’t want me to be around, or like I don’t want to be around them. Drama is fuckin’ ridiculous as always, everyone just bites each others heads off in small or large portions, as they please. My displeasure for some people has got me in to trouble lately, as well. I guess I have to shut my mouth before I get in to any girl fights. I’m sorry you’re a raunchy cunt, and I don’t enjoy your raunchy cunt presence.

I’d like to write something about how much Logan is pissing me off lately, but then I’d just be contributing to his list of females who bitch about him.

Sdshgdhsgdhgfasf

Anyway, I wrote an xmas list today.

Nine Inch Nails Live DVD: And All That Could Have Been
XBishopX cd, Suicide Party
Terror's Always the Hard Way and/or One With The Underdogs
Britney Spears perfume, Fantasy (mother shittin' tasty!!!!!!!)
Thin curling iron
New iPod headphones, or a new iPod in general. (I broke mine!)

And some other things hahah but I don't want to put them on the internets because I'll sound like a spoiled pig.

& I still want these.

Ummmm I think I have an idea of what to get my familyskis. My sister wants some CDs, and I think I might steal Taylor’s idea (that’s how shitty of a daughter I am) and buy my parents the Sopranos box set.

On top of these things, I have some other things I should probably invest in:
-mittens, preferably the ones from Rowena’s.
-ape’s present
-hair dye
-etc

Safnuashfolaksfhiahsf.
Go listen to XBishopX.

This is what my table looks like:

they're all empties, too. this is the build up of two days. i think there's a few more in the den, too. (:

mmmmm tylenol

Wed, 05 Dec 2007 03:39:24 GMT

I think it’s kind of sad that I feel the need to write a new blog/bulletin/journal/message/document every five minutes. I think anyone could agree with me on that one. I definitely have an obsession. Maybe I should go to internet rehab or something, and stray away from writing so much CRAP. Other people don’t seem to really care, unless they have nothing better to do. Not that my intention was ever for anyone to care in the first place. Welcome to my life, I guess. I’m your temporary (five minute) best friend.

Anywho, today I’ve exceeded the maximum recommended doses of Tylenol extra strength already, which is 8 tablets. I’ve taken 11 and it seems that it’s not helping me at all. The euphoria occurring in my mind, right now, and for the past three and a half hours, is keeping me plenty busy though. And keeping busy is probably one of the best gifts when you have a flu, because, without preoccupation, you’d probably roll over and die from insanity.

I was thinking of going to school tomorrow, but now that I remember that it’s a half day, I’m definitely not going. Half days are rarely worth anyone’s attention, in my opinion. According to Sean, I shouldn’t be worried about missing English, as they aren’t doing much except slowly progressing through the first act of Romeo and Juliet. Math, I’m not too worried about right now (or ever, for that matter). Art, I should be working on my project, and I should have it finished tomorrow or Thursday… (insert shift eyes here). Uhhh and Food Studies, who cares. So I guess I’m good.

What else am I missing out on because of this flu? Nothing, as far as I’m concerned. It’s not like I have a social life to worry about… And other then that, was is there for a teenager to worry about? Pregnancy, overdosing, etc. of course, but I have the feeling that I’m not really included in any of those. Except I almost had a heart attack when my period came late. “JFHSKJFHS WHAT THE HELL, I HAVEN’T DONE ANYTHING LATELY!!!!!!” I guess it’s just because it’s winter, or something to that extent. Hopefully I won’t have it again until next year. (ahahah I love being able to say that.)

Well, I have more fun sitting on the computer all day, I’m sure.

Outstanding nexopians (imo) of the day:

User PENNEY, is probably the most entertaining ginger I’ve ever been acquainted with.

User Sean0 is probably the oddest/funniest person I’ve ever met, both online and offline. I always make sure I’m the one who sits beside him in English. We write notes to each other on the back of our worksheets, and I ask him so many on-a-scale-of-one-to-ten questions that he just wants to kill me everytime he sees me.

Lastly, I leave you, and part of myself with some pictures.

- Aw. I want a boyfriend.
- 6661 bitches~*~*~*
- Typical MSN conversation with Logan.
- Yessssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
- Is this not the cutest thing ever? I think it is.
- Typical conversation with gay ray.
- hahaha I wish.
- I hate Megan "haner" skiffeieiengton (boxface) more then a lot of things.

That is all.

SHOCKING DISCOVERS(s)

Tue, 04 Dec 2007 22:53:32 GMT

SHOCKING DISCOVERIES OF THE DAY:

muse is being beaten by 30 seconds to anus.... you’ve gotta be kidding me!!!!!!
i laughed for five minutes straight at this....Johnny’s rockin’ the “I HATE GRANDMA” face, Dan looks like an ugly baby and Jimmy Sullivan is the most angelic creature on this earth.

I think that’s all for shocking discoveries.

I’ve been sitting around doing nothing all day; it feels nice. I’m in a lot of pain right now so just forgetting that school exists is good. Going tomorrow doesn’t really feel like an option, but I guess I’ll go on Thursday just … just because.

Four extra strength Tylenols are contributing to my small creative burst. Whether that’s a good thing or otherwise, I’m not sure, but it feels good to be able to write something that sounds good. I am going to start writing again. I’ve had a really extended break, and I’ve got so many things written down that I’d really like to put in to action.

Just because I’m not sure where else to put it, here’s some of what I have written down (everytime I think up something I want to use, I write it down) :

The tests that they administered measured everything from general intelligence, achievement potential, vocabulary, visual-motor integration, memory, visual perceptual skills, concept development, oral reading capabilities, the whole shebang. (has to do with
ADHD. I’ve got a good roll on an idea for a ADHD+ character)
open sores
mentally undressed
reformed
gatsby
ambiguity
Have a smoke after ruttin' on your brothers girlfriend. (HAHAHHHA)

aaaand these placebo lyrics:

I hold an image of the ashtray girl
Of cigarette burns on my chest
I wrote a poem that described her world
And put our friendship to the test
And late at night
Whilst on all fours
She used to watch me kiss the floor
What's wrong with this picture?

Under LJ cut because I haven’t decided whether I want regular folks to view that or not.

That about wraps up my day, so far, Tuesday the 4^th. I’m hooked on this game, thanks to a new friend. It actually teaches me things. Fortunately I know a lot more then I thought I did; how to compare root words and whatnot.

I stayed up until 4:30

am last night. Felt gooooooood.

cheeeeeeeeeeeerz

ps: this simply makes me want to barf. i hate people.

hiiiiii

Tue, 04 Dec 2007 22:09:39 GMT

dislikes: high-standard robots. who invented them?

noooooooooo!

Tue, 04 Dec 2007 08:54:36 GMT

“TVLinks Shut Down, Owner Arrested!”

WHOA

Tue, 04 Dec 2007 06:49:28 GMT

Trent Reznor and Maynard James Keenan in the same picture.
HOLY SHIT BALLS

x

Tue, 04 Dec 2007 06:39:02 GMT

I forgot a few things in my last entry. Unimportant, but at the same time, Important.

My room smells like Chili. I haven’t had chili for approximately two weeks. Maybe I should hire a maid.
American Apparel shorts are really, really cute and comfy. I bought a pair and I refuse to take them off. If it wasn’t winter, and if it wasn’t frowned upon, I’d probably wear them all the time.
I forgot what else I had to say.
sajfaf
afkafnskflmslgmf
flksfoaspd;kngddsf
I posted a really genius blog about Anthrax the other day. I say you read it. If you don’t have a nexopia, I say you sign up with an account just to read the entry.
I have to go in for an ADD/ADHD test. I have to admit that I am afraid.
Franky said that he would go with me to Divine to get my piercings, because he has a friend that will do it for cheap but at the same time do it well.
I am only going to go to a 6g. And when I do, I am going to buy these cute snake spirals.
I think that is all I really have to say.

stay fresh

Tue, 04 Dec 2007 06:26:48 GMT

Starting fresh on a new livejournal is exciting. So much has happened in the past little while that I barely know where to start. xmas is just around the corner in case you haven't noticed, and I’m definitely beginning to regret not starting my shopping earlier, even though I only have four people (April, parents, sibling) to shop for. I have a vague idea of what I’m doing for each of them so far, so I hope that clears up… like, pronto.

I’ve been up to quite a bit, actually, starting with the fact that I’m looking in to picking up a second job on top of my dish washing shifts at Luisa’s. I even have a resume written up, and I plan on taking it to Chapters as soon as I put down some references. I actually want a job there really bad… It just seems like such an easy, peaceful job compared to the hell I’m used to with working in a busy restaurant kitchen amongst a family of Italians.

Another big thing that has been recently dominating my thoughts is my HAIR. That’s right. I recently went and got a haircut by Michelle, my usual hair stylist, at Salon de le’art or whatever it’s called. I asked her for chocolate brown hair with bright orange in the bangs, plus a little bit of a trim + bangs. Needless to say, the cut is cute, but the color makes me want to roll over and die – IT’S BLACK! It’s fucking black! Jet-ass-black. When I first got it done, the orange was pretty bright. I was happy with that… but now, that has faded into a blood red, probably from the black leaking in to it. How horrifying is that? I’m mortified to say the least. My hair is black and red. Black and red! Are you kidding me? I’m … very upset. I have a plan to fix it though.

My hair was also pretty fried, not just from the dying or whatever, but from the dry air in my house, as well as my flat iron usage without protection. But I fixed that. I went out and bought some deep conditioning products that Ericka suggested to me. She pretty much saved my life, haha. Thankfully my hair has been nicely re-hydrated, and so it’s nice and soft and feathery like it always was.

In case you’re interested/curious, I used the following products:

Joico K-PAK Shampoo
Joico K-PAK Deep-Penetrating Reconstructor
Joico K-PAK Intense Hydrator
CHI thermal protection

after just one use of the first three products, there was a very noticeable difference in the texture of my hair. It is softer, smoother and shinier. I would suggest buying these products if you fear having damaged hair. I bought all three Joico K-PAK from Chatters, the beauty supplier up by the new Walmart here in St.Albert for around thirty-seven dollars. They came in a package which was on sale for twenty dollars less then usual, so I would suggest going to get it a.s.a.p. before the sale ends.

That is probably about all I’ve been up to lately. My social life has gone down the drain, I’m pretty sure, so thankgod I don’t have to worry about that anymore. I’m not worried about impressing my school friends anymore. I don’t think they enjoy my company anyway. That’s fine, I’ve got April and I’m pretty sure she’s all I really need for now. And by for now, I mean for ever.

I have one hundred and ninety-something to my name at the moment. I am so tempted to spend it on my double high nostril piercing… it’s not even funny. Actually, there’s a million things I’d like to spend that money on right now, like these shoes for example. Speaking of shoes, I ordered a pair of Gwen Stefani’s L.A.M.B. boots off of eBay just the other week, so my shipment should be here either tomorrow or Wednesday. I’m shocked that I only paid fifty dollars for these boots – on retail they averaged out to about two-hundred and ten! Good ol’ eBay.

Winter’s here and in full effect. It’s not even that cold out for our usual winter weather, but I think people are complaining because it’s been fairly nice up until about two, maybe three weeks ago. It was weird. Usually we see snow on the ground before Halloween. Anyway, the purchase of my boots were the first major notice I’ve taken to the frightful weather outside. And, yesterday, I went out and bought a nice jacket from Le Chateau on Whyte Ave. I still Tony’s mitts as well, to keep my hands warm haha. The only issue I have with that is that I can’t take them to school, because either he, or Taylor Horvat, will steal them back. Other then those couple of things, I don’t really require much else for winter. It’s not like I go outside that often, and even when I do, it’s not for longer then an hour.

I have the flu thanks to my dirty, infected, gross younger sibling who probably caught a disease of somesort from her dirty, infected, uncleanly, beast-like school friends and brought her sick germs all over the house. My mom and I are now falling victim to a shitty flu. Me more so then my mom. I’m experiencing chest congestion, cold sweats, shivers, a mucus overload and other such unfortunate symptoms. I’m also on the rag. Joy.

Anyway, I think I’m going to go watch the Matrix via the internet. If I start to feel feverish, I’ll come back and spill out my creative juices. I absolutely love my mind frame when I have a fever. Crazy genius meets sophisticated sicko meets ADHD patient.